Breathe
by CrusherMyHeart08
Summary: In the moment of Han's death Leia reaches out to him one last time. "Hope burns in her chest like a songbird confined within a cage, and then dread, desperately frantic dread comes crashing down on her like a wave on the raging seas." Han/Leia (TFA)
**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Star Wars Franchise or its characters. I'm just taking them out for a gander across the galaxy :) But Captain Tokani is mine... I have no idea who he is.**

 **A/N: Hello fellow Star Wars fans. I wrote this fic a few months back, and have only just decided to upload it. It's also the first thing I've written since being out of hospital. I love Han and Leia to bits and the fact that Disney have torn apart my OTP just breaks my heart so I had to write this to make me feel better. I hope it does the same for you :) And I apologise for the angst in advance... This is a one shot, but I may write the same story from different points of view. If you have the time please read and review. Enjoy :) x**

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 **BREATHE**

 **In the moment of Han's death Leia reaches out to him one last time.**

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 _Breathe... just breathe._

There's an anxious tension in the air, a breath held in deafening silence. All stands on the brink, the invisible rim of ruin and death as the battle between good and evil rages on behind the darkness of the stars. The wind howls wildly outside as the bitter cold of that icy planet, that deceptive, hostile place in the Unknown Regions, seems to grip their souls as it pends their ultimate destruction.

A steadying gasp, shoulders hunched as her eyes skim calmly across the main control room. Worried frowns and terrified glances hurl in her direction, looking for assurance that she cannot give. The members of the Resistance and the New Republic may be fearsome fighters, courageous in battle, strong believers in their cause, but against such a malicious and vast enemy what hope did they truly have? What chance was there of any survival?

Leia bows her head, fighting away inevitable exhaustion as the Force trembles with the terrible might of the enemy and the weight of the evil that threatens to expand across the galaxy. The sudden annihilation of the Hosnian system, the horrified voices and strangled screams of thousands of innocent people is still fresh in the General's mind, their silence a void in what had once been a happier world. The devastation it had wrought twists deep in her heart, striking in her a determination to make sure those five peaceful planets are never forgotten.

For once she lets herself feel it: the quiet, mournful singing of the universe.

The stark red beam of blazing light burns in her memory as a horrific reminder of what will happen should they fail. The monstrosity the First Order has created, the Starkiller, threatens not only the Resistance and the remnants of the New Republic, but every living creature in the universe – every child, every man, every woman, whether friend or foe. It will eventually engulf all in its path, leaving only a heavy blanket of sorrow where peace had once thrived. And everything that is good, everything that is honourable and true and pure will be gone forever.

The fleet is dwindling, their firepower making no difference to the critical weak spot in the Base they are trying to exploit. This is their last chance. Their only chance.

Closing her eyes Leia stretches out with her feelings. She can sense them all, each individual rallying their nerves and battling to the bitter end. She can feel Rey, now stronger, more aware of the Force that flows around and within her, her flame finally ignited as she learns to control her powers. It doesn't surprise Leia; she had sensed the girl's abilities as soon as they'd met.

Reaching deeper the General discerns Finn, his bravery mounting the longer he is with Rey, confirming her belief that the team have been reunited. Chewie is there too, and... Han. She looks deeper, squeezing her eyes shut as the familiar beeps and sounds of the control room fade away. There is worry in his heart and a stubborn determination she knows all too well.

 _Please_ _don't_ _do anything stupid._

He's moving, gathering his courage... He is afraid.

A dark shadow falls across her mind, black tendrils seeping out and clutching at her heartstrings as the walls around her close in.

 _It_ _can't_ _be._

Leia stumbles backwards, gasping for breath as she is plummeted back to the reality of the control room.

"General Leia, are you quite alright?"

A cold metal hand on her arm steadies her as her eyes snap open to reveal the blank, emotionless face of C-3PO. Everything seems blurred, unreal, unfocused. Leia brushes the droid away.

"I'm fine," she says unevenly, forcing a smile as he turns and walks away across the control room. But inside she is trembling with fear and exhilaration.

Hope burns in her chest like a songbird confined within a cage, and then dread, desperately frantic dread comes crashing down on her like a wave on the raging seas. The weight of it is too much; too many memories come flooding back as she remembers a presence she has not felt for what seems like a lifetime. As black as night and as hot as raining fire in a thunderstorm, her son's darkness hurtles at Leia like an avalanche, drawing her under and suffocating her.

 _Ben…_

She takes a deep breath, tries to focus on the situation at hand. Torn between the battlefield and her son, Leia struggles to centre her thoughts. The fleet are severely outnumbered; too many pilots have already been lost and the life-cons on the holographic display boards have fallen drastically.

Biting her lip subconsciously, the General watches the timer counting down. One of the Resistance members, Captain Tokani, steps out from behind her, his face stern and irritated.

"General, the shields are already down and the fighters are making no difference," he mutters. "If the weapon is not destroyed soon we're done for."

Setting her jaw, Leia stares dead ahead and with quiet confidence replies, "Give them time."

"We don't _have_ time, General!" the Captain insists loudly, his voice breaking unnaturally as his fears betray him, causing everyone in the room to turn and stare at him. Leia remains calm, gathering her wits. She can sense their fears, hear their rambling thoughts and worries, feel their will to survive. The Resistance's hope is slowly diminishing and the need to fight is fading away. Some have already given up, whilst others consider running. If this is to be their end, if these are their last moments, Leia knows the Resistance will not stand and watch as the enemy destroys them with one foul swoop.

Faith is all they have left. And she's holding onto it with her life.

"Then we make time," Leia declares firmly after a moment of silence, her words echoing across the control room. She turns to address the distressed man, lowering her tone. "It is not weakness to be afraid, Captain Tokani. It is not wrong to fear evil… but letting that fear consume you is what the enemy wants. And they will revel in it!"

Feeling the urge to speak the words in her heart, Leia raises her voice. "If this is to be our end, if these are our last moments, do we stand and watch as the enemy destroys us? Do we let them succeed without a fight? Let them see our fear as we run? No! We stand firm and true to what we believe in."

Smiling reassuringly, Leia walks towards the centre of the room. "Together we are strong, perhaps fewer in numbers, but in comparison with the First Order we have something so much stronger. We have faith. Hope is not lost today… it is found."

All eyes rest on her – some still afraid, others holding a newfound confidence at the General's words – as she asks how long they have remaining, how long they have left to live.

"We have fifteen minutes till the superweapon is powered up, General."

"It's too late," Leia hears her son whisper distantly as she moves over to view the battle's progress, trying to force all her efforts into the promise of victory. But Ben's presence burns in the dark, angry wisps of flaming red swirling relentlessly as his emotions run wild. The darkness that emanates from him is almost overpowering, and yet, somewhere in the depths of his heart, she can sense a small flicker of light that has not yet been extinguished. There is good in him still, she knows there is.

Leia can almost feel her husband's heartbeat: rapid; hopeful; familiar. For a moment she forgets to breathe, words lingering in the thick haze of her mind. Memories come flooding back; images of a young carefree son and a loyal husband clutch at her heart and squeeze it too tightly. For a moment she forgets to breathe, words lingering in the thick haze of her mind as others look to her for guidance and instructions leave her lips unheard, too overwhelmed by the disturbance in the Force.

Her son is hesitating, and she can feel his pain; a deep, twisted pain that marks his very soul. And then all too quickly the light in him flickers, grows just a little, and is snuffed out and plummeted swiftly into blackness.

 _No._

Her heart lurches as she feels Han's pain as his body is pierced violently, his silent cry of agony blinding her as Ben's lightsaber slices through him. Han's light, the life in his soul crumbles and she can barely breathe. For a moment she senses her son's grief, then anger, then a strange confusion as he feels the emptiness in his heart. There is no regret, no feeling inside of him. Nothing.

Desperately Leia reaches out to Han, battling through the white noise and chaos to catch him, to speak to him one last time. But he is already fading away…

 _Leia?_

Fighting back her tears at the sound of his voice, Leia gently touches his mind.

 _I'm here._

 _Afraid I'd leave without a goodbye kiss?_

All at once it's like her heart is breaking into a million pieces, shards of broken emotions scattering out across the universe, never to be put back together again.

 _I'm sorry, sweetheart._

 _Don't be… I'll always be with you, Han. Always._

She can feel his smile, his boyish grin, against her cheek, and for a moment it's as if she can feel their fingers touching, their hearts beating as one. His pain burns her soul, and she can feel him struggling to hold on a little longer, but his strength is deteriorating too rapidly.

 _So long, Princess…_

The sudden thought of losing him terrifies her, losing him and never having the chance to tell him how she truly felt, how much she felt for him, how much she still feels for him after all these years.

 _Han…_

 _Yes?_

 _I love you_ , Leia whispers, and her heart shatters as his light flickers and then goes out, disappearing into a sea of lost souls.

 _I know._

Her knees give way and she is falling, sinking into a nearby chair as her world crumbles and dissolves into dust. Leia stares hopelessly down at the floor, tears gathering in her eyes that refuse to fall as an emptiness tears open inside of her.

A presence she had never realised existed had been torn away from her: Han's presence. Somehow she had always known it was there, had always felt his heartbeat, his joy, his pain; he had always been there, tucked away deep inside her heart. And now that he was gone she had nothing left. Everything she had ever held dear was fading away and all that is left are lonely memories and the cracked fragments of a broken life.


End file.
